Jack Wrigley had no idea what was in store for him, that fateful night, when a record blizzard engulfed him and his car, while driving in the back woods of the Spearmint Mtns. in eastern Austria. Jack, a long time, candy and treat salesman was on his way home to be with his wife and kids for a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner when a massive snow storm overtook him.
“All I remember, was the winds picking up and it went from a light snow to me being blasted off the road in a white out. Next thing I know, my car was flipped over and I was buried alive! I finally got my seat belt off, felt to see if I was ok, and started digging myself out through the window. Then that insidious fear that slowly creeps up on you, when trapped in a life and death experience hit me, I would never make it ……………make it home for turkey and gravy that is. Seemed like hours to dig out, but once out, I realized I couldn’t find my cell phone. So I dug back in looking for it, but to no avail, I said to myself, with only this light jacket on, I’m gonna freeze to death out here in the middle of nowhere, and my kids are gonna eat all the stuffing. and I just can’t accept that! My car being full of snow, I thought maybe there’s something in my trunk, I might use to survive.
And there they were, my lifesavers, no not the candy, but boxes, and boxes of “Big Chew Chew” bubble gum, in all their glorious extra chewiness! They were returned merchandise that got too old, that I had picked up, due to my companies awesome exchange policy. And then, Light Bulb! What would McGuyver do?, I never missed an episode. All this gum would make great insulation! I had never done so much chewing and blowing in all my life in the next few hours, although the chewing warmed me up a little. The tough part though, was being totally naked in the process, I was blowing huge bubbles, popping them and spreading the bubble gum all over my naked body. It worked, this stuff made great insulation against cold and moisture. Finally after applying all 17,000 pieces, I proceeded to trek 10 miles to the nearest gas station to use their phone, and eventually got some gravy.
Only drawback to this incredible adventure was it took about 9 months to grow back my body hair, after it all being yanked out from the doctors removing all that Big Chew Chew Bubble Gum Goodness!
Haha
Alas, he survived!
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